"Hot" Topic

Two topics of discussion came up in our household last night. One led to the other (as usually happens). The first topic was started because Bobby came back from his neighbor friend's house this afternoon questioning me about the shoot 'em up video game issue. We have told him that he is not allowed to play or watch any video games that involve him shooting other people. There are many reasons for this decision. They are too realistic, too many kids (and adults for that matter) become desensitized to the actual act of murdering people over and over and over, if you think it's morally wrong to shoot people in real life than what makes it o.k. to do it in fantasy world. He argues that he is not someone that will ever thinks of hurting others let alone killing people. It's just a game. And if he ever did have a thought that he would want to act out something that he did in a video game, he would come and talk to us about it. Yes, I believe that he is not the type of person that wants to physically hurt others. If anything he is just the opposite. Very compassionate and aware of others feelings. He is often the one to notice first when someone is upset about something. BUT I see the potential for a problem. Kids can so easily get so used to seeing the blood and killing. And the difference between watching that in a movie and video games, is that YOU are the one doing the killing. I don't know when or if we will, as parents, ever be ready to let him play these games.

This led to the next hot topic. The issue of the game Grand Theft Auto came up. I said I don't think that it is even appropriate for adults(although it is their choice as an adult). I've never seen the game being played but from what Hubby has told me, it seems rather disturbing. My question is why would people want to play act being a gangster stealing cars and picking up prostitutes if you feel that it is morally wrong in real life? Hubby says that it's just fantasy and it gives people a chance to live out a "fantasy" without the consequences of real life. My question is why would someone have a fantasy about something that they believe is morally wrong?

This escalated to a lot of other side topics. Why do men feel the need to look at and drool over half naked pictures of women when they have a woman of their own at home? Hubby: because it is just a fantasy and something enjoyable to look at. Me: Maybe having their partner looking at other women makes some women feel like they are not good enough to look at or pretty enough to turn on their partner. Hubby: we're not talking about people in general anymore are we? Long pause......I am now shaking and tears brimming. Hubby: and how long has this been bothering you? Me: I don't know, but this is the reason why I don't discuss it. You don't agree with me. You think that looking at women from the safety of your home, getting excited by looking at someone other than me, is perfectly fine and not supposed to have any effect on me. I feel that it is the same thing as going to a strip bar and getting excited from scantily clad women. You can go to a strip bar, sit back in the corner, not have a lap dance or any contact with the women, and get the same effect as sitting at home oogling over these suggestive pictures. He argues that there are slutty pictures and then there are tasteful pictures. I disagree. If a woman is using her body in a sexually suggestive manner, no matter how much skin is exposed, than they are selling their body. Why do women feel the need to sell their body for the enjoyment of others? I've heard before that women know the power that they have over men by using their sexuallity as a tool. I agree with this. Why does it bother me so much that my partner feels the need to look at other people instead of just asking to go in the bedroom and get so much more than "looking". Does it make me feel like I'm not good enough to look at? Yes. Maybe this is a result of so many years of him asking for this and getting rejected. I have no idea. Maybe now this will give him something to think about the next time he feels the need to waste time sitting in front of the computer to enjoy the view.