Under the Quilt

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Friday, March 31, 2006

Sleeping with the Beast

Well, it's finally happened. My days of cuddling and snuggling are long gone. Yesterday hubby picked up his machine to help him breath at night. He was excited. Restful nights of sleep ahead......for him. I, on the other hand, feel crappy this morning. All night long I kept waking up, each time instinctively wanted to roll over and snuggle up with my loved one. But how do you do such a thing when there's a mask involved. I haven't quite figured this one out yet. And I haven't figured out how I'm going to live with the fact that he now has one less reason to be motivated to do something about his weight problem. Every single website I went to to find out about sleep apnea said that being overweight is the number one reason for sleep apnea. He is in denial. He thinks that he has had this problem since before he was overweight. His so-called doctor has not made any suggestions of weight loss to solve this problem. So why is he going to listen to me? I don't know anything right? So now I must resign to sleeping with a machine. I feel like taking a bat to it already. This might sound selfish, but it's the truth. My only hope at this point is that because he is getting a restful night of sleep, that he will have the energy during the day to want to do something physical (other than going to work and sitting at a desk all day) and that will lead to being healthier and hopefully eventually be able to sleep without a machine to pump fresh air into his nose.

I think what angers me so much is the fact that this is something preventable. I can see it. He denies it. It is so frustrating. Without belittling somebody, how do you motivate them to do something to improve their life, health, and overall outlook on life? That's something else I must figure out. Any help?


  • At 1:29 PM , Blogger Eclipse75048 said...

    I had horrible problems with snoring and apnea until I lost 50lbs (luckily it's still pretty much gone even though I've gained back 20lbs).

    Unfortunately, there's nothing that you can do or say to motivate someone else. I myself want to get back to eating right and exercising, but I can't even get myself motivated right now. Good luck with Darth Husband!

  • At 1:23 AM , Blogger Mark said...

    Really there's probably not much you can do, it takes pretty much self motivation for something like that.

  • At 9:43 AM , Blogger J Martin said...

    Roxanne - I have to totally disagree with you on this one. My Mom and brother both use CPAPs - and neither of them are overweight. If you were deprived of sleep and oxygen all night long, you would be depressed and not feel like exercising. This may be EXACTLY what he needs to get out of the black hole and start living again. More than anything else, he needs your support with this. Sure, it is no fun to snuggle with, but I'm sure you can be a little creative ;).

    Start exercising together - take walks around the neighborhood TOGETHER (and make the kids go half the time!), or go to the Y - and exercise portion control when eating. Cut down on trans fats, eat more veggies than meat, etc. - you know the routine.

    I've been praying for both of you.

  • At 2:19 PM , Anonymous Lessie said...

    Agree with the dude who said you can't motivate the hubby. That's his own job. But good for you for holding up the metaphorical mirror so he can see himself. I need that -- in a nonjudgmental, factual, loving way. Hurts like hell, but we need it. So sorry you're having to deal with all that shit. (Just discovered your blog.) Even though I would love to be married, your post makes me realize how hard it would be for my partner. I tell myself, do one small thing. Can't you do one small thing? One small thing is better than NOTHING. Why is one small thing so hard? UGH


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