Under the Quilt

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Sunday, March 19, 2006

I am shy. I am normal.

I've been reading a book from the library called "Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety" by Erika B. Hillard. I wasn't quite sure what to expect by reading this, but I am pleasantly surprised by it. The "lightbulb" moment for me was when the author stated that it is perfectly normal to be shy. It is only in the Western cultures that shyness is seen as a sign of weakness. In western society we expect people to be driven, outwardly social (almost to the point of being obnoxious), and to "put themselves out there" in order to be considered a success. In other cultures shyness is seen as being an attribute. Shy people are often very considerate of other's feelings and great listeners. It is only when we let our shyness take over and allow it to prevent us from doing the things in life that we enjoy, that it can become a 'problem'. Normal shyness should be something that we embrace and not feel bad about. I have never EVER thought this way before. It is such a strange concept for me to wrap my brain around. It also makes complete sense to me. If shyness is a part of my personality and a part of who I truly am, than why should I not embrace it just the same as any other part of my personality?


  • At 10:09 PM , Blogger Mark said...

    Sure there's nothing wrong with being shy, if there was there would be something wrong with me. I once had a boss tell me, I needed to be more outspoken to get promoted. I told him, I might as well quit now, because that's not going to happen, because that's not me. Doing the job well, is what counts, besides, I told him, I was the same person that he hired. Well, I ended up with the promotion shortly after that.

  • At 9:33 AM , Blogger Liz said...

    Amen, from one introvert to another. :)

  • At 9:54 AM , Blogger His suzy said...

    Roxanne, I'm glad to be able to read your blog again! For a few days there, I would just get an error or it would say I wasn't authorized to view that page. My first thought was, "holy crap, Roxanne has banned me from her blog!" lol I was relieved when I found out it was just a blogspot thing. :)

    And it's okay with me if you're shy. I think I'm actually a little shier now than I used to be.

  • At 12:33 PM , Blogger gena said...

    I'm so glad to find other shy people and know that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm currently trying to find books about it because my shyness/anxiety feels as if it's getting worse as I get older and I really don't want that to happen. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for the blog.

  • At 7:35 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Being shy is normal! someone once told me that i might need depression meds because i was so shy, and it made me depressed sometimes. I never listened, and i am getting stronger each day as a person. Yes people do view shy and quiet people like something is wrong with them, I also notice people like that are often times unsensitive to others.


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