150 degrees and rising

The sauna is a very interesting place to conduct social experiments. Every time I go in there, I'm not sure what to expect. I told the story of the old swedish man that brought me to tears with his stories. The other night, I was almost brought to tears again. Just not for the same reason.

I decided to take a break from swimming with my two wonderful children. It was time for a little warm up, so I go to the sauna (which is connected to the pool area so I can still watch my two wonderful children swimming, plus the lifeguard is there as backup ;)

As I enter, I notice a familiar smell slap me in the face. It only took a few moments for me to recognize the smell and memories of my mom caring for me while I was sick came flooding in.
Vick's Vaporub. I take a seat next to, what I later find out, is Mr. Vaporub. He apparently has been suffering from a bad cold, and was trying to clear his sinuses well enough to play some basketball. Good for you. Now everyone's sinuses are nice and clear.

Arrogance is dripping off of Mr. Vaporub (and a lot of sweat, too). He proceeds to fill me in on the "prune diet" that he and his wife adopted about 5 years ago. They eat prunes after each meal. This is to help eliminate anything that is useless to the body. According to Mr. Vaporub, it seems to work quite well. He also proclaimed that the sauna is one of the best things for weight loss. That is, if you don't guzzle down any water afterwards. He says, he doesn't drink ANY water until he gets home. That way, his body has had a chance to cool down and therefore he doesn't drink as much. He says that his wife doesn't go in the sauna (because she chooses to go to the YMCA that they live closest to and it doesn't have a sauna) and "I look much better than her...." (did he just say that?) "I guess I shouldn't have said that, but you know what I mean." Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Arrogant little Mr. Vaporub.

He turns to the guy next to him.

Vaporub: It looks like you've been "lifting" quite a bit.

Buff Guy: Well, I've been trying to keep it up for the past 20 years. But my boy is about to pass me up....*chuckle*

Vaporub: Yeah, it looks like you've put on a good 5-10 pounds up top. (this is meant as a compliment in case you didn't get that)

Buff Guy: Well, thanks. (fully excepting the compliment in a totally heterosexual way. Cause otherwise, it might be weird)

Guy Next to Buff Guy: So, what did you think about that Michigan vs. Notre Dame game? Wasn't that somethin'? (totally trying to change the subject as to keep the level of male testosterone at the correct level)

Hey, I'm fine with that. As long as Mr. Vaporub stops filling me in on his elimination tricks.

I take this as my cue to go back out to the kids (plus I'm getting so hot, that it's getting difficult to breath and my eyes are literally fogging over).

Jesse: So, who ARE those guys in there?

Roxanne: They're just people that enjoy sitting in the sauna like me.

Jesse: And they want to flirt with you!

If she only knew..........