I'm a great big sob story....so sue me

I have no idea what to do right now. Racing thoughts, racing thoughts. My mind already running through all the things I may need to prepare for if this is only the beginning of a long run of hospital stays. WHY???? The worst part is I don't know who to aim my anger at? Not hubby. Most certainly not. He is the victim just as much as the kids and I are. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to throw myself on the ground and throw a big hissy fit like a two year old. I hate life right now. And then I feel guilty because there are people out there going through WAY worse things than us right now. But I still feel like I have the right to go through all the range of emotions (and I think I need to to get through this).

The brain and all of it's functions sucks. Why can't mental illness just go away already. I mean really!!!!!