So, yeah...

Thought I would write a few blurbs about the goings on around these parts. I started a new job on the weekends. I call it my 6th and 7th day of the work week. Ha! If I don't remain humorous I may just go completely insane. So, yeah. I'm now working seven days a week for an unspecified amount of time. Plus, I took on a side project a couple months ago that I've been mostly procrastinating on and now regretting that I didn't use all of my free time on it. Once I can get that out of the way, my stress level will decrease tremendously. I'm currently sworn to secrecy, but will let y'all know what it is when I'm done. That is unless I'm completely embarrassed by my shotty attempt at writing. In that case, I'll probably just pretend that I never mentioned anything and you all can do the same!

So, my new job on the weekends (and an occasional weeknight extending my M-F work days to about 15 hours...yay). I am a "Suite Attendant" at one of the more upscale hotels in town. Suite Attendant is obviously just a glorified term for maid. I will say that all of my new co-workers seem very nice. I've worked in this setting before, back before I had any kids, and it's not easy to find pleasant, ungrouchy people in housekeeping. It ain't the most pleasant job, but it pays the bills. I'm actually excited because for years I have not had co-workers and believe it or not, that is going to be one of the perks for me. Yes, I said it. Real live adults (not 3 year olds...who I love dearly... who throw fits all day). I told myself, "Self, if you have to work seven days a week you need to have variety. Caring for children seven days a week will get monotonous and you will start to get burned out."

Last weekend was my first on the job. The older lady that I was paired with is a hoot!!! I hope they stick me with her again until I finish my training. We got on the subject of anti-depressants and she said, "Yeah, I've been on them for the past 7 years, right after my husband passed away. I call them my "I Don't Give a Shit! pills....HAHAHAH!!!"

I love her laugh. It's contagious and she has this wonderful old lady name that fits her perfectly. When we were done for the day and restocking her cart, she even told me that on her days off I could use her cart if necessary. If you haven't ever had the pleasure (or displeasure) of being in the company of a group of housekeepers/maids/suite attendants, then you may not know how much of a BIG DEAL that offer is. I have definitely found a new friend. I thanked her for the offer, but I don't think I'll need to take her up on it because I have my own brand spanking new (or recently cleaned and refilled by mwah) cleaning cart. Orick vacuum and all! You know the ones I'm talking about. Whenever you stay in a motel and it's sitting in the hall, maid nowhere in sight. You think...hmmm, I need some extra soap/shampoo/sewing kit. No one will EVER notice! So you snap a few extras. And maybe an extra bath towel while you're at it. Well, if anyone decides to do that from my cart, I will definitely understand. And even look the other way. Because you know what kind of soap we have on our fancy little carts??? Bath and Body Works. The bath bar is Brown Sugar Vanilla and the face/hand bar is Coconut Lime (I think?).

I am going to have THE HARDEST TIME not sticking one in my pocket to take home. It's worse than the temptation to steal office supplies. Post-its have nothing over Bath and Body Works.


p.s. Oh, I almost forgot the bestest part! My first bed made by myself after the Head Housekeeper left me on my own. 12 minutes!! Apparently the veterans do theirs in around 11 minutes. These are not your ordinary beds, mind you. Smooth the mattress cover and pull taut. Fitted sheet with the elastic stretchies on the sides of bed. Pull taut. Flat sheet on next, leaving one to two inches at the top. White thermal blanket, about 4 inches down from the flat sheet. Decorative sheet, next. Line it up with the blanket. Fold the bottom flat sheet over the top of the blanket and decorative sheet, tucking in the sides VERY TIGHTLY. Oh yeah, I forgot the bottom flat sheet has the "ugly" edge facing up since it it going to get folded over. The decorative sheet has the "pretty" edge facing up. (getting bored yet?) Next, put the pillow cases on the six, yes SIX, pillows (four for the queens). 3 feather pillows centered in the back, 3 synthetic centered and placed in front of the feathered. Don't forget to place the zipper from the pillow cover on the inside of the case and then do your envelope fold so that no part of the pillow is exposed. Make sure to place the folded end of the pillow to the center of the bed. Now....(taking a breather)....go down to the bottom of the bed and kneel down at the corner. You must kneel down and press your knee against the bed skirt or else it will get folded up with the sheets as you do your fancy hospital corner tucks. Put your hand down under all 3 elements (flat sheet, blanket, decorative sheet) and pull up slightly on the mattress. Stuff all three under the mattress making a nice clean (and tight!) fit. "Wrap the present" on each corner. Tuck in sides all the way to the top of the bed (tightly!). Grab your very neatly folded comforter which you have placed on the nearby cushioned foot stool. Place the zipper nearest to the window. Fold it in a fan style so that when the occupant gets into bed they can easily pull it up and over the sheet. Lastly, place the velour bolster pillow centered in front of the 6 bed pillows. Smooth out any wrinkles as needed. Viola! Now does 12 minutes sound a little more impressive??

My grandbaby

Haha! Did I get you with that one? No? Oh well.

My daughter, who is 12 years old, has already decided a few things for her future. For years now, she has said that she does not WHATSOEVER want to give birth to a baby. Not only is it painful (thank you unrealistic TV and movie versions of childbirth) , but she doesn't want to ruin her body. Hmmm. You think she remembers seeing me without clothes when she was younger.

No need to fear though. She is planning on adopting. And if it's a girl, her name will be Naomi. Isn't that the sweetest name for a little grandbaby? That would be really funny if she actually sticks with those plans. Will keep y'all updated!

To Do List

• Get stuff sorted through and priced for our neighborhood yard sale on Saturday
• Put away ALL toilet paper, paper towels, hair ties, rubber bands, pens, pencils, cotton balls, etc. because this weekend we are adding a member to the family. A young, male manx cat named Tumi is going to come live with us for the next few months and terrorize our two adult cats. The gentleman (or guy...because gentleman just makes me think of a "Gentlemen's Club" and that's just creepy) that I've been working for on the weekends is taking the next few months to visit family in India. He didn't have any plans for his little kitty and was, therefore, going to bring him to the shelter. I couldn't let that happen and since I don't have enough on my plate already (ha) I decided to volunteer. The past couple of weeks that I've gone over to clean, the entire apartment is covered in toilet paper. Should be fun!
• Bone up on infant care. For the longest time, all of my daycare children have been in the toddler to preschool age range. At the end of October, I will gain a newborn and a 1 1/2 year old. The baby is breastfed so I know I better be prepared with stain remover. Does anyone know what I'm talking about when I mention the color fluorescent orange??
• Stop procrastinating and call my mom back. My uncle is quickly losing his battle against leukemia. This past week Mom called, barely able to hold down her end of the conversation (understandably), to tell me that he was given 2 weeks to 2 months to live. Or as God sees fit. A couple of days later, my dad calls to tell me that uncle R is not doing very well and they are going to let him come home. I don't know if I've ever seen or heard my dad cry before. There's a first time for everything I guess. All I can do is sit here feeling helpless because how do you console a loved one, over the phone, who is losing a sibling? The answer is you can't. I feel like a jerk because money is preventing me from taking a week off to drive the 14 or so hours to be there for my mom. You know how people always say CANCER SUCKS! They're right every single time.
• Give my kids and hubby extra hugs because they deserve it (and so do I!)
• Tell everyone about this wonderful blog that I discovered a few days ago and now have read hours and hours of archives because I just love it. If I had to pick a favorite part, it would definitely be the love letter entries. It warms my heart so.
  
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Sag Harbor

When I was a teenager and my mom had those comics that made fun of the little old ladies with boobs sagging down all the way down to

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I used to think they were funny.

Not so much anymore.

I've completely given up the notion that there is a bra out there that will support these puppies. And also? I have no recollection of what perky is.

And who ever thought that the brand name Sag Harbor was a good idea for a clothing line? I suppose it would be an excellent name for a retirement nudist colony.

Scary

I just sent an email requesting an application for an ad on Craigslist. Yep, I'm still browsing around there. Come October 2 - November 1 I could be the next scariest monster you ever did see. Raaaawwwwrrrr!!!!!

You KNOW I'll be posting a picture here if I get the job.

Irony

Every weekend now, I make the 30 minute drive to my cleaning/personal assistant/chauffer (that was added to the list today) job. Now mind you, even though it sucks to be working this many hours each week, I am grateful to be picking up some extra cash on the weekends ($9 per hour if you were interested). But it is also ultra annoying to have to sit at the signal light just blocks from my job and have to be stared down by the dude with the cardboard sign begging for money. It seems like it's a different person each week, which makes me wonder if they have alternating shifts or something. And the sign always says something different, but they all have the same basic message.

GIVE ME MONEY FOR STANDING HERE AND LOOKING PITIFUL!

I know that times are hard right now. You don't have to tell me that. I also know that I am probably not in the same position, or even close to it, as these beggars.

But I also know that I am not the kind of person that is going to sit back and expect people to feel sorry for me without taking some initiative.

Does that make me heartless? I prefer to call myself a realist.

Perspective

I saw this on a church sign today as I was driving home after working 9 1/2 hours cleaning and schlepping boxes, and holding a photographic reflector thingie in "just the right position":

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

True dat.

And just when you think your life is sucky and you have every reason to complain about anything and everything, something pops up that smacks you right back into reality.

Just over a month ago, my uncle (my mom's bro) was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. Yeah. He has had one round of chemo and will find out in a day or two the results from his tests. If there are any cancer cells detected, they will immediately start the next round of chemo. After that, it is bone marrow transplant time...if a match is found. No guarantees and all. He will also be having numerous blood transfusions throughout this process.

My mom and her oldest brother will be going in to get tested to see if they are a match. Statistically, siblings are the most likely to match. From there it's a crap shoot. I have been on the bone marrow registry for about 10 years now, having a vial of blood drawn at a Relay for Life event. This is my friendly reminder to everyone to seek out your local blood bank and/or bone marrow donation center. It really is not that painful of a process, lasting about an hour per donation, and you get free cookies and juice!

Please send positive thoughts (and prayers if that's up your alley) in the direction of Milwaukee, WI. Thanks so much!