Under the Quilt

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Friday, September 16, 2005

Why here?

Ever since we moved to Ohio from California, everyone we meet says, "Why here?" They all have this preconceived notion that CA is this great place with warm beaches, tanned fit bodies, and surfer dudes saying, "Whoa, dude!" every 5 seconds. Reality: we liked where we lived but were basically bored and wanted to see different things. We lived on the far north coast where the ocean water is always cold year round. I do miss just being able to take the kids and hang out, listening to the waves. We'll have to take a trip to the Carolina beaches during non-hurricane season. The weather there was either foggy and cold, foggy and relatively pleasant, sunny and windy, or raining. We are looking forward to actual change of seasons here. The leaves on some of the trees have already started to change. We are looking forward to snow. I know we will get to the point where we are just freaking tired of shoveling/blowing/plowing the snow, but until then we're going to love it. Our new property has some mild slopes that I think will be great for sledding. We just have to watch out for all the trees! Snow angels, snow people(have to be politically correct), snow ball fights. Can't wait! So everyone here seems to think that we must be nuts to think we would enjoy Ohio more than CA. We did not make this decision randomly. For the most part not. Hubby and I took a trip last November to scout out potential spots. I was suprised that he was even willing to make the trip. He was not in a very good spot with his depression and was weary that I would get my heart set on moving. He said he would make the trip if: 1. I promised not to get my heart set on anything. 2. We didn't tell anyone about our potential plans of moving (except my mom since she kept our kids during our trip) 3. I again didn't get my heart set on moving. So we took our trip, driving through Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio. We had ruled out some places before the trip. We wanted to live near a decent size Univ., near some interesting places to camp and vacation, near enough to the east coast to vacation, near a large enough city for Hubby's job opportunity. After our trip we had narrowed it down to Grand Rapids, MI (hubby liked but I was not too thrilled with) Stevens Point, WI (I really liked the area but hubby thought it was not a large enough city for his job opp.) and the city in Ohio that we ended up in(I'm still too chicken to let blog people know where I am). So, we really like the place we ended up, the kids are relatively happy except for missing friends from back in CA. My son keeps saying " Nobody likes me, I don't have any friends. But that's o.k. I don't need any." This really scares me. Maybe it's because it brings back so many bad memories of my 6th grade year when I REALLY didn't have any friends. I would just wander around the playground every recess. I also had this one bench outside the classroom that I became good friends with for a good portion of the year. People always say that parents should not try to live their lives through their kids. I definitely agree with that. But it still really bothers me that he is not that concerned about making friends. He has always been very likeable by other kids and it's always been very easy for him to connect with other kids. When we first moved out here this summer, he immediately made friends with the boys in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, the house that we bought is in the next school district. And because there is such little time for socializing at school, it just hasn't happened yet. Funny thing happened to him the other day. As he was getting off of the bus, he says this girl handed him this business card and said, "Tonight. 7:30-8:30". He said, "I was like what?" Turns out it was a card for a church and she was probably inviting him to the youth group. I told him that maybe she likes you. He said nobody likes me. I don't have any friends. He didn't get that I meant maybe she LIKES you. He's only 12 and still in that innocent state of mind. Hubby said maybe she's a "churchy" and hands those cards out to anyone and everyone she can trying to "spread the word". Hopefully he'll make some friends if he makes the basketball team. In P.E. class he said that they're now playing soccer and he's the only one there who has ever played on a team before. I guess football(the american version), basketball, and baseball are the 3 biggies back here. In CA practically every kid played soccer. Funny thing. One of our neighbors at our rental house was one of those macho "my kid's tougher than your kid's type". He is apparently very proud of how athletic his 2 boys are. Basketball, football, wrestling, you name it, they do it. Hopefully they grow up knowing that it's o.k. to express feelings and not always have to be "the man" and shake it off when they get knocked down on the playing field. It always irritates me to no end when I hear a dad say, "Shake it off. You're o.k. Get back out there and show 'em who's boss." How about a hug and a few minutes on the bench to gather your thoughts that were just scrambled by getting your head knocked around? How bout that Pa? O.K. enough of my rambling for now. Over and out!


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