Who's Your Mommy?

After many well spent postage stamps, a few correspondences, and years of putting it on the back burner, Ron only clicked a few times on Classmates.com to discover his birth mom's name on the list. After a lot of discussion, the question is not if he'll follow through on contacting her, but when and how.

Of course, neither of us wants to have any expectations of gaining family or having any type of relationship with her or any possible siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. But how can you not? There is a whole other side of the gene pool (and it's the deep end we haven't ventured into yet) that my children know nothing about. This shall prove to be interesting.

Quote of the evening:

Ron: "Of course I'm going to be the biggest baby ever in this whole thing." I think that's to be expected (and well deserved).

150 degrees and rising

The sauna is a very interesting place to conduct social experiments. Every time I go in there, I'm not sure what to expect. I told the story of the old swedish man that brought me to tears with his stories. The other night, I was almost brought to tears again. Just not for the same reason.

I decided to take a break from swimming with my two wonderful children. It was time for a little warm up, so I go to the sauna (which is connected to the pool area so I can still watch my two wonderful children swimming, plus the lifeguard is there as backup ;)

As I enter, I notice a familiar smell slap me in the face. It only took a few moments for me to recognize the smell and memories of my mom caring for me while I was sick came flooding in.
Vick's Vaporub. I take a seat next to, what I later find out, is Mr. Vaporub. He apparently has been suffering from a bad cold, and was trying to clear his sinuses well enough to play some basketball. Good for you. Now everyone's sinuses are nice and clear.

Arrogance is dripping off of Mr. Vaporub (and a lot of sweat, too). He proceeds to fill me in on the "prune diet" that he and his wife adopted about 5 years ago. They eat prunes after each meal. This is to help eliminate anything that is useless to the body. According to Mr. Vaporub, it seems to work quite well. He also proclaimed that the sauna is one of the best things for weight loss. That is, if you don't guzzle down any water afterwards. He says, he doesn't drink ANY water until he gets home. That way, his body has had a chance to cool down and therefore he doesn't drink as much. He says that his wife doesn't go in the sauna (because she chooses to go to the YMCA that they live closest to and it doesn't have a sauna) and "I look much better than her...." (did he just say that?) "I guess I shouldn't have said that, but you know what I mean." Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Arrogant little Mr. Vaporub.

He turns to the guy next to him.

Vaporub: It looks like you've been "lifting" quite a bit.

Buff Guy: Well, I've been trying to keep it up for the past 20 years. But my boy is about to pass me up....*chuckle*

Vaporub: Yeah, it looks like you've put on a good 5-10 pounds up top. (this is meant as a compliment in case you didn't get that)

Buff Guy: Well, thanks. (fully excepting the compliment in a totally heterosexual way. Cause otherwise, it might be weird)

Guy Next to Buff Guy: So, what did you think about that Michigan vs. Notre Dame game? Wasn't that somethin'? (totally trying to change the subject as to keep the level of male testosterone at the correct level)

Hey, I'm fine with that. As long as Mr. Vaporub stops filling me in on his elimination tricks.

I take this as my cue to go back out to the kids (plus I'm getting so hot, that it's getting difficult to breath and my eyes are literally fogging over).

Jesse: So, who ARE those guys in there?

Roxanne: They're just people that enjoy sitting in the sauna like me.

Jesse: And they want to flirt with you!

If she only knew..........

To Fulfill Bearette's Request

Who couldn't love these cute bundles of joy? Can you tell they've grown since their last appearance? I love the action shot in the left corner of the bottom picture. Amanda sure does love to run/hop in circles in the outdoor play yard. Can you tell?

From the mouth of a nine year old

Jesse: "When I get old enough to vote, I'm gonna vote for someone who doesn't lie."

Dad: "Well, there's no such thing."

*************

Jesse: "It's ok if you guys express your love for each other at night, AFTER I've gone to bed. Just don't do it during the day when I have to see it."

Alrighty then.

************
(Playing the board game of Life)

Dad: "Do you want a girl or a boy?"

Jesse: "A man! I'm not gay. I want to marry a real man. Not a girly man."

**************

Jesse: "So when a man gets that surgery so he can't have babies, how do they do it?"

Dad: "Well, it's called a vasectomy and...."

Jesse: "Do they cut 'em off with scissors?"

Dad: *cringing* "No, not exactly."

Jesse: "Do they use a rubberband like on goats and bulls?" (from a previous conversation)

Dad: "No, they do a surgery and cut the tube that the sperm travel through."

Jesse: "Oh, so you can just have sex and no babies."

Dad: "Yeah, I guess so."

****************

Jesse: "I'm never going to have sex with anyone. I do want kids though, so I guess I'll adopt. Plus, I don't want my skin to get stretched out like you."

Mom: *sound of crickets* *more crickets*

*****************

Yoga, Capybaras, and Vegetarians

I think we may have a "little Bearette" living in our house,which is perfectly fine with me :) Jesse has taken to yoga, vegetarianism, and would like to have a capybara as a pet. The picture to the left is her taking a nap after a yoga session.

She has decided that she's "not eating any more animals". Well, except for pepperoni "cause that's my favorite thing for lunch". The other day when we went out to eat, she said, "It's not easy being a vegetarian." The veg thing was sparked by her dad bringing home this flyer. She still hasn't gone to the website yet. I think she's too afraid to get certain images in her head. Me too.

So now I have some questions to ask.

**When staying in a yoga pose (since we have a book we're following and not a video or class), how long do you typically hold the pose? A few of the more difficult ones stated how long you might want to hold them, but I was wondering if there is a standard amount of time for the basics.

**Are there any good recipe books for kids and vegetarian meals? I haven't really checked the library yet, but was wondering if anyone knows of some good ones.

**For people who don't want to take an actual yoga class, is it better to follow a book (which we've already tried) or a video/DVD? I'm thinking that the video/DVD would solve the 'holding a pose time' dilemma.

**Is it legal to have a capybara as a pet? (this was Jesse's question at the zoo the other day)

**What are some easy ways of getting protein besides beans?

**Does tofu really take on the flavor of whatever it's cooked with? Just looking at it, the texture has always seemed kinda funky to me, but I'm willing to try it. And how the heck do you cook the stuff? Some favorite recipes?

Busy Bee

For the past week, my mom and sister were here visiting. The first day, we visited the Harry London Chocolate factory and took a tour. Yay for free samples. Yay for the bags of "Oops!" chocolates and the buy 4 bags get the 5th free! Boo for expanding waistlines.

The second day, we visited Amish country. All three of us are quilters, so guess what we did? Not only are Amish women fantastic quilters, they are very proud of their work. The first "shop" that we stopped at, was actually in their home. We got a very close up view of how the Amish live, which was something I didn't expect to get to see but very awesome indeed. The people were very welcoming and spoke with thick Dutch accents.

I had to refrain myself from emptying the bank account on some of the bed-sized quilts. There was hand quilted stitching on all of the quilts (which we could appreciate since we do all of ours by hand). Because we made many wrong turns, we were able to see a lot of people working on their farms on the back roads. Very impressive. The men collect the corn stalks, pile them onto the horse drawn wagon and haul them back to the barn. My sister was afraid to let them see her taking pictures, but soon realized that when they saw her with the camera, they would wave back in a friendly manner. This was cause for many outbursts of nervous laughter as she felt like the papparazi in Amish land. I guess she had a point in saying that, "it feels weird taking pictures of them when they're just trying to go about their day." The best part of all was when we spotted the children walking home from school. It was absolutely the cutest thing I've ever seen (and I think I said that so many times it became annoying at some point).

The third day, back to the quilt shops. We had gotten a late start the day before due to Jesse's eardrum feeling like someone had "crushed it". So back off to stalk the Amish we went. We got plenty more pictures the second day and visited the rest of the quilt shops.

The fourth day, we went downtown to Quaker Square were the old Quaker Oats mill is. They have now turned it into some gift shops, a restaurant where you can dine inside of an old railcar (which we did) and a hotel in the old silos. Each room is a complete circle. I guess they put the beds in the middle of the room?

The fifth day, we ended up at the zoo. Jesse now wants a capybara for a pet. "They're soooo cute!" Yeah, just what I want to cuddle up with at night. Maybe she can get one if she goes to live with Bearette. ;)

The sixth day (today), we headed to a local quilt shop for one last hurrah since their flight did not leave until this evening. Just a little while ago, the phone rang. "You're not going to believe where we are...." It's my sister. Their flight from Cleveland to Chicago was cancelled due to weather. So, tomorrow morning they will be flying east to Washington D.C. (to visit Liz)
Then, they will head back west to San Francisco and home from there.


**Top picture is the quilt my mom and sis bought for me at one of the shops. They shouldn't have, but I do love it.

Middle picture, Amish children walking home from school. So cute! (If you click on it, you can see them much better.)

Last picture, the buggy had stopped while the bus let children off, then the driver waved to the Amish family as they passed by.

No Time to Blog

I hope you will all forgive my absence as I have been driving in circles around Amish country and eating chocolates like Lucille Ball.

More on that later.........

On the downhill slope

This is why I loathe long, heartfelt talks. I know they're necessary. I know we can no longer avoid them. I know that I have to let my feelings (both past and present) out in the open. But how much is too much? I know this will get better with time, patience, a lot of drugs, and hopefully continued therapy. Why does it have to be so dang hard?

This is your brain awake.....this is your brain on sleep....any questions?

This is another wierd dream to add to my collection:

I was looking out the window of the house, just gazing into the back yard. All of a sudden, an elephant appears. I said , "Is that an elephant?" No response from anyone in the room. I repeat myself louder this time, "Is that an ELEPHANT in the back yard?" As Ron turns to look putside, four more elephants come running, trotting (whatever it is elephants do) all across the yard. There's a knock at the door and this man immediately starts to apologize and says not to worry, they have everything under control. He is with Barnum and Bailey's Circus and they just 'came across' these elephants running through the neighborhood. Mmmm, curious. I am skeptical as I walk outside and notice that they have a portable barn/cleaning station for the elephants. There is a crew of about 100 people roaming our property caring for the elephants, organizing a food station (for the crew), and basically taking over our land. I go back in the house to see if the kids are even aware of the fact that we have freaking ELEPHANTS in the yard. They are in the 'sun room' which has one wall with windows from ceiling to floor. The elephants are right outside and the kids are getting to view them as if they were at the zoo. Cool, huh? Think again. A very charming and adorable baby elephant, starts to push on the wall of windows. His actions seem innocent enough. Just a baby elephant being playful and curious. But elephants are strong and the window gives in. I scream to the kids to "GET OUT NOW!" but, of course, they are in shock and don't move. We now have a baby elephant entering the house through the sun room. Luckily, a few members of the crew grab the little guy and take control of the situation. The kids and I wander back outside, still in a daze. I find the man that first knocked on the door. He explains that they have been following this herd for a while now to track their behaviors and to possibly find out where they came from. I'm thinking...What the heck? Just put them in a trailer for a trip to the zoo. Place an ad in the paper under "Lost Pets". I'm sure SOMEONE will respond. I continue on viewing all the damage in our yard. Piles (very large ones) of crap everywhere. Pee stains on our lawn furniture. You know how when a dog lifts it's leg on something? Just picture what kind of damage an elephant can do.

At this point, I figure I have no control over the situation. So I go back in the house to sit down and relax. That's when I find an old classmate in my kitchen (someone whom I had a crush on way back when). He has his hair dyed bleach blonde. No,rather it was bleached white showing his dark roots (in real life he has naturally blonde hair). He and I start chatting and flirting. Just when the conversation starts to get really good, my husband walks through giving me the look. The one that says, "What in the hell are you thinking? Did you not remember your husband is in the vicinity?" Instead of feeling guilty for having flirted and making my hubby feel jealous, I'm upset that things were disrupted.

This is when, within the dream (still sleeping), I wake up and start to recall how absurd everything was. I hate when this happens. You're still sleeping. Still dreaming. But your mind is confused because it thinks it's awake. Then when you actually do wake up, you're so confused you don't know if it's just another one of those tricks your mind is playing on you.

Self-Analysis: After reading back through this, I highlighted the sentence that leads me to believe I'm feeling like I don't have control over things in my life right now. And then there's the obvious elephant in the room factor. Or maybe it's just a sign that I need to join the circus. I have been practicing my tight rope skills a lot more lately and started to grow my beard out again.

Just to let you know

To all my msn spaces friends out there:

I haven't been able to comment on anyone's site since they made the "new and improved" changes. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but it won't even let me sign up as a different user. At least I can still read though. :)

Answer me!!!

The answers to all of your wonderfully engaging questions:

Stu
You could tell us which blogger 'those' dreams were about :p


Stu, Stu, Stu....what am I gonna to do with you? If you must insist, it is someone you know and it is someone who is H-O-T. Let your imagination run wild! Sweet dreams.....
(did you figure it out?)

Annelynn
what's your favorite color...and why?

My favorite color used to be purple. When I was a kid I was the queen of purple. I was also obsessed with rainbows. For Halloween one year I dressed as a human rainbow, including rainbow suspenders like Mork from Ork (yes, I was the dork from ork). The colors that I tend to lean towards now, would have to be differents shades of blue, pink, and still purple. The reasons why? I'm not sure I can explain it. I like the way some colors make me feel. Another thing I LOVE is the enormous range of colors in sunsets. I only wish they would last longer....

Bearette
How old are your children?
What's your astrological sign?


Bobby is 13 and will be in high school next year....my baby is lost to the teen years... :( ...and it makes me feel really old.

Jesse is 9 and in the fourth grade.....she's no longer a little kid anymore.

Second Question: Is that your best pick up line? ;) My birthday is right on the edge of Scorpio (Oct. 24...you can send gifts when the time comes). I've never been one to believe the whole planets aligning thing though. Although I have in the past read my horoscope and lived my life according to it. ;)

Suzy
Are you still glad you all moved to Ohio? Do you think with recent events, things will be different for your hubby going forward? Last, but perhaps most importantly, favourite sex position? (Yeah, I had to go there.) lol


Oh, what an excellent first question. There are times when I wish we hadn't. Like when I want family close by to lean on for support. Or when I want to go to the beach. Or when I am feeling guilty because I am not there to be the one my family can lean on. Overall, I am very glad we moved. Now that my kids have adjusted pretty well, it feels like home. It feels right.

I most definitely think that recent events were meant to happen. If not, Ron would not be getting the help that he's needed for a very long time. I knew it, could feel it deep down, that this was a major turning point for him. I think one of the most important positives to come of this, is the fact that we have laid everything on the table. Things are out in the open like they've never been before, which is very important for his healing. He is finally realizing that I don't want him to keep the mask on with me. I'm very hopeful and optimistic these days.

And for your last question. I knew if anyone went there, it would be you, Suz. ;) Well, let me see. There's that one where.....no not that one. What about....no, not that one either. I guess I'd have to go with a combo. First, me on top straddling and facing him. Then I do a switcharoo and I spin around facing his feet and finish off the deal. (for some reason that did not sound romantic, but it is very effective) You did ask.


Liz
Name one quality you wish you possessed, and the one you are most proud of.
Can you remember the funniest joke you ever told?
Were you always sure you wanted children, or did you have doubts?
And lastly... why are you so against the use of emoticons? ;)

I wish that I had more self-confidence. Not that I want to be the life of the party or anything, but it would be nice to be able to go to a social event without clamming up and feeling so self conscience. I don't want to have so much confidence that I become cocky. The quality I am most proud of is my compassion. I think that's why I feel pretty capable with my choice of career.

The funniest joke I've ever told: A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "Really? You've got a drink named Fred?" --I can't take credit for this one. It was a joke that was always recited by the whole band/flags when we would go to our band competitions and band camp etc.

I have always wanted to have children. I never pictured myself as a young parent (heck, I never thought I would get married young either, but such is life). The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't want to wait until "the right time" in my life. It never comes and then you end up with regrets. Some people think that you should wait until you've settled into your career or bought a house or traveled the world or had a carefree blissful marriage before the kids come into the picture. I wanted to be young enough to be able to relate to my kids and not have forgotten what it was like for me at their age as they went through different stages. I wanted to be able to enjoy any potential grandchildren without being too old and feeble. Yes, I actually thought about these things before making the decision. I was 20 years old and Ron was 23. He definitely had doubts and since has told me (and I sensed it for years with his little "what if" comments here and there). He felt that I talked him into it. I wish I would have realized this at the time ,of course, so we could have had more lengthy conversations, but all in all I have no regrets. Our kids were meant to be. And I think any person contemplating having children will have doubts. Like you, I tend to over analyze things. But there have been times in my life that I had to follow my heart (insert cheesy music here). Sometimes you just know when things are right.

And for the last question: Ah, yes. My old enemy....the emoticon. As you may have noticed, ;) I have gotten over my dislike of ye old emoticon. Sad to say, but I think I have joined the ranks of the EAA (Emoticon Abusers Anonymous). ;) Having said that, I have not ventured any further than this ;) and this :). Maybe those are the only emotions I am willing to express online or perhaps it's because I haven't figured out what the heck the rest of them mean. Frankly, some of them scare me with the x's for the eyes and such (it looks like a dead person to me).

Jef
If given a choice to live again, would you still choose being an american, a female and a mom?

I would definitely still choose to be a mom. Hands down. Female? Well, I have had dreams before in which I wish I was of the male species.....don't jump to conclusions. They were actually dreams of urinating. And it felt sooo good as a male. I have no idea why, but I loved it. Other than that, I would still want to be a female. Even with all of the inequality that women still face in so many ways. There are way too many good things about being female, that I wouldn't want to give it up. Plus, I'd have to give up the mom gig and I'm not willing to do that. As far as being an American, I'm not quite sure. I hate that Americans (in general) think that our country is superior to others. I hear people say that we should feel privileged to have been born in America, that others are not as lucky. I'm not so sure I agree with that. Yes, I realize that there are places where children grow up knowing what it really means to suffer. But that doesn't mean that America is the best place to live over all other countries. I love flipping through National Geographic and wondering what it would be like to live in some of those places. The simplistic life of a tribe in Africa. Material posessions are almost non-existent. The community is everything. Traditions are still intact. So if I had the choice to be born in a different country, I would probably choose to live somewhere else. I mean, who wants to live the same boring life over again? I have ethnic roots from Sweden and I've always wanted to visit there. That might be a wonderful place to grow up. There are so many wonderful places on this earth. It would be hard to choose just one (plus I might make my non-American readers jealous if I didn't choose their country) ;)