Guess who

Man, did I have a weird dream last night. It was much more involved than my previous one that started out with me getting a hug from behind.

Again, it involved someone from the blog world. She and I were basically getting it on ......just when hubby walks into the room. He jumped down my neck and basically told me that he didn't think he could ever forgive me and I was thinking, "Is this really it? Are we really over because of THIS?" He reacted as if I had been with a man and he caught me cheating.

Sooooo, when I woke up totally confused and dazed, I told hubby my dream. His reaction was, "You mean I didn't sit back and enjoy the scenery? I actually got mad at you?"

Makes me wonder if I've got some secret fantasy I want to fulfill......

Camp Y-Noah

I realized that I totally neglected filling everyone in on my kid's camp experience. I know, pins and needles. ;)

A little more trivia:

What famous person attended Camp Y-Noah and was also a counselor there? Hint: he grew up in Cleveland. First correct answer gets an all expense paid 6 days/5nights of silly camp songs, trail rides, nature hikes, swimming AND canoeing in Lake Y-Noah, and a very smelly sleeping bag!

Jesse attended the Ranch Camp which consists of a week of horse riding lessons half of the time and normal camp activities the other half. Bobby attended the Teen Camp which consists of normal camp activities and normal teen activities (you can only imagine, right?).

Both the kids were in really good moods when we got there on Saturday (one girl in Jesse's group starting crying as soon as she saw her mom). They had performances for the parents to show what they had learned. Hubby and I had to split up since they schedule them for the same time. I went to Jesse's which consisted of the kids riding their horses around the indoor arena displaying their horsemanship skills. Previous to camp, her experience with riding was a few sporadic jaunts on friend's horses (being led by the owner). I was so impressed with her, I literally almost started crying right there on the spot. She learned all kinds of beginner skills, including posting. For those of you non-horse people (myself included), posting is where you use your legs to raise and lower yourself as the horse trots.....as to not get saddle sores. She had learned this the day before the performance and already looked like a pro! If I knew how to do a video thingee where you could watch, I would. Anyone know how to do it? Anyhoo, she was in heaven. She loved her horse and didn't want to leave her. :( We already have plans to send her next year and possibly set up for lessons (they do them year round at this facility). Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Before we even left on the first day of camp, she was telling her cabin mates the definition of manitanicals (y'all remember that one?).

Bobby's camp experience was a bit different. Although he did get some time with a horse. They have trail rides that you can sign your child up for (and pay an extra $10 for). I asked Bobby if he wanted me to sign him up for a ride. He gave me the answer I was expecting.......a profound no. Somehow his name ended up on the list and he was sent on a ride. I find it entertaining......he was only slightly annoyed.

A few days after they came back, Bobby wants to talk to me about something serious. He says he wants to tell mesomething, but also doesn't. I tell him that he doesn't have to be embarrassed with me....just spit it out. He says that one night in his cabin (when the counselor was not there), the boys started having "sex talk". Basically, immature boys bragging about things that they may or may not have done with girls. He said that he just stayed out of the conversation and the other two 13 year olds did the same. Until he was directly asked if he's ever "done" a girl. Don't you just love that term? I told him that even though these other boys all SAID that they've had sex does not necessarily mean that they have. And that he shouldn't be embarrassed if he honestly answers the question. I told him that in my opinion, teenagers are way too immature emotionally to handle having sex. I actually believe this, it's not just my overprotective parenting skills kicking in. You know what his response was? "I feel the same way". Now who knows if that will last for long, but I'll take it for now. He also was teased in the showers because he has not "developed" per se (he described it to me as: my "you know" parts are not big yet and I don't have any hair either). I love the fact that he is still comfortable enough to talk to me about these things. I always remind him that his dad AND I are here whenever he wants to talk about anything. But it's nice to know that he takes it to heart. I reminded him that people can be really insensitive (especially teenage boys who are trying to play macho) and he has no control over when his body develops. But his dad told him it's probably going to happen soon, since genetics do play a part in that, and he was 13-14 when he developed.


All in all, they both had a good time. Teasing and saddle sores aside.

I will be taking a short break for a few days as we have just decided to go see the Serpent Mounds in southern Ohio this weekend. We're also going to the Columbus Zoo and the COSI to see the Star Wars exhibit. Should be fun for all!

Tomorrow I have to find someone to care for our bunnies while we're gone. Oh yeah, did I mention that we got two of the most adorable bunnies in the whole wide world? Pictures will be posted soon!

No Freaks Allowed

First person to get the correct answer on this (I know you all know how to google,but try answering without cheating), gets free room and board when you come to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Elton John's middle name. His stage one that is.

Oh yeah, if you read the title, NO FREAKS ALLOWED!! I have standards you know.

Walk This Way

Note to commenters on my Lurky post.....I finally did reply to all of you wonderful people. :)

Wednesday's happenings:

Called the chiro to see if I could get an appt. ASAP. The bedroom activities 2 days ago MAY have something to do with this. Yay! They have an opening in one hour. I go to said appt. and chiro asks, "So how'd you do this?" "Ummmm, I don't know. I just woke up hurting." "Were you doing yard work?" "No." "Lifting heavy objects?" "No (unless you count.....umm, no)." "Well maybe you just slept in a funny position." "Yeah, that must be it." The day before, hubby and I discussed the awkwardness of he and I going to the same chiro and the possibility that we both have to be adjusted for the same "incident". Next time I'll just stick with the yard work excuse.

THEN....

I go to the clothes consignment store to purge some more of my fat clothes. Now I can actually make money to buy some clothes that fit my new and improved bod. Yay!


THEN....

Hubby and I meet at home before heading to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He makes a sorta kinda compliment to me. "You don't have as much 'grabby' to hold onto." Me pretending I didn't hear him, "Wha?" With a weird cringing sorta look on his face, "You're getting skinny." Me confused if this is a compliment or a put down, "And that's a bad thing?" Confessing his honest feelings, "No, but it makes me look bad."

AHA! He's figured me out. I lost a bunch of weight in order to make him look like a big slob(I say this term sarcastically because I don't call anyone that because I've felt like one and it is not a good place to be and even worse if someone refers to you using a term that you already think of yourself as....big breath). I didn't lose weight to feel good about myself. To feel healthy again. To feel like I can walk up stairs without dying. To feel like I might actually enjoy shopping for clothes again. To feel like I can go outside with my kids and play games without wanting to lay on the ground and take a nap. To feel like I can wear a swimsuit and not have to suck my gut in (even though there was much more than a gut to suck in and that never works anyways). To feel sexy again.

Yeah, I did it to make him look bad. It's been my evil plan all along.

THEN.....

The moment you've all been waiting for. I hope I didn't hype it up too big. We headed to Cleveland. No, I don't live in Cleveland, but we live close enough that it is a convenient enough to go there for the day. I wasn't quite sure what to expect at the Hall of Fame, but was pleasantly surprised. They did a great job of mixing items of clothing and instruments on display with the history of the music. I learned a LOT about some very famous artists who I have only heard their music and not bothered to learn anything else about.

The top 2 floors (they get smaller as you go up) are designated as the "Special Exhibit" area. It changes maybe 3 times a year. I now know more about Bob Dylan than I ever wanted to know. I can respect his influence on the music industry, but I cannot respect his voice. Plain and simple....it sucks. Having said that, I did learn a lot of things about him that I had no idea about before. Like the fact that he wrote, "Blowing in the Wind". How many times did I sing that with my sister as a kid? I thought it was just some cheesy song that someone made up to sing around the campfire. Oops. Another big oops. We're watching a video of George Harrison's concert to raise money for Bangledesh. Ringo Starr (he signs his last name with a star symbol btw...how cool is that?) is on the drums, Eric Clapton on guitar, along with a bunch of other musicians. This was in 1971 and they were all quite shaggy. They do a really close close-up of George and I lean over and ask hubby, "Who is that?". "Umm, it's George." I'm so glad he's used to my stupid moments. He didn't even react.

Some of the items we saw in the clothing/instrument section:

George Clinton's funky hat with red, white, and blue junk hanging off

One of Madonna's many cone bra outfits

Steven Tyler's rag covered microphone stand

A bunch of David Bowies freaky costumes....yeah there were wings too

Stevie Wonder's jacket with beads on it.....African on one sleeve.....American on the other (I love,love,love Stevie)

Alice Cooper's severed head.........at least a replica of it

Michael Jackson's Beat It costume......oh and the silver glove

The silver glove was the only item that they had encased. Everything else was exposed but they had an alarm system so you couldn't reach into the display.

Amongst the other types of items:

The original scratch paper of Aerosmith's "Walk this Way" with some lyrics scratched out. That was cool. Some artwork of Jimi Hendrix in his junior high/high school years. So, so, many things I can't remember them all and don't want to ruin the surprise if any of you end up going.

But the best part was something that we just happened upon. Just by chance we were passing by one of the theaters and saw that something was about to start. Boy, did we luck out! The employee/usher outside said that they were going to have an interview/ live performance with Mack Rice. My first thought.....who the heck is Mack Rice? Second thought: who cares? It's a live performance and we've already paid for it. Were we in for a treat. At first when he came out I thought this guy was probably really cool back in the day. During the interview I started to learn that maybe I did in fact know who he is. He said he wrote "Mustang Sally". Yeah, I definitely know that one. We even got the story behind the writing of that song. Let's just say it was worth sitting through. He said it was about a fellow friend in the music industry (can't remember who). This friend was getting a Cadillac as a gift from his wife. He said, "Man, I don't want no Caddy. I gotta have me a Mustang." Then as Mack was trying out his new song at the recording studio, Aretha Franklin just happened to be there and suggested he change the name. It had been "Mustang Mama". If I tried to rewrite any more of his stories, there's no way I'd do them any justice. I think there were probably 50 people at the most in this theater. It felt like we were all sitting around his living room listening to his stories. Like nothing I've been to before. It was SOOO cool.

THEN.....

We got a live performance of 3 of his old songs.....including "Mustang Sally". Of course, he invited us to sing the "ride, Sally, ride" part. When you're at a huge concert with thousands of people somehow it doesn't feel that special. This was SO different. I can't really think of a word to describe. Definitely much more than just special. When he was done performing, he said, "You've made an old man feel real good."

Now I'm off to google Mack Rice to see what else I can find out about him.

Yo, Yo, Yo, to all my peeps (I have no idea what I just said)

By the way.....anyone want to fess up to being from Sunnyvale, CA? I'm such a nosy nellie. But, hey, I'm just curious. Anyone?

I think I may need some sleep now.

Dry Humping a Metal Chair (I know you cannot help yourself.....you MUST read on)

I promise I really am going to post about the hall of fame. But first I just wanted to let y'all know that if the Sandman ever comes to your town, whatever you do, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES go see this man!!!!!

Who's the Sandman you say? Some old creepy(I'll explain that part in a minute) guy that calls himself a hypnotist comedian. Friday was our last night before the kids came home from camp, so we decided to go see a comedy show. We found a local place on the net and googled the guy that they had listed for their 8:00pm show. We found a few video clips of portions of his act. He seemed pretty funny so we said, "What the heck". Reservations made. Payed ahead to make sure we'd have seats. Get there and the place is filled with smoke (pet peeve of mine I always feel ill when around smoke for any amount of time). Just before the show is supposed to start, we spot this 50-60 ish guy next to the stage groping one of the waitresses and grinning from ear to ear (kinda like The Joker...now that IS creepy). The waitress was distracted by taking someone's order. I'm not sure if she was trying to ignore the guy so he would leave her alone or if she truly was concentrating on her job and didn't really notice. Either way, it was VERY inappropriate. He was basically fondling her from head to toe and by the look on his face thought he a stud. I felt like throwing up. And going up and smacking him back into reality. Do men still think this is actually ok? When I say "men" I mean some men because I know that all men do not think this way (at least I hope not....God maybe they do and I'm just kidding myself).

Next thing I know this fondling man gets on stage with a microphone. I'm thinking, "Please just announce the comedian and get off the stage so we can get on with the show" (Remember....I checked the net and saw pictures of the REAL comedian that was performing so I knew that this was not the guy). Have you figured it out yet?

This groper guy is supposed to entertain us for the next 2 hours. Yay! (Boo...hiss) At least he stuck with his theme for the night......sexual innuendo. Not that I don't enjoy that......just not from creepy groper guy who reminds me of my uncle who is a pedofile and is into incest (yeah, I actually have one of those). So the next time I decide to be entertain and want to laugh my butt off, I will call the club and ask them specifically these questions:

1. Is the Sandman performing tonight?

2. If the performer that you have scheduled to perform does not show, will the Sandman be the backup?

3. Do you allow smoking in your club? (I know I'm a prude, but I also like to breath and not feel like I'm going to puke)

4. Is the Sandman performing tonight?

Did I mention the part of the show where one of the volunteers on stage (supposedly under hynosis at this point) is dry humping on the metal folding chair? Picture this if you will......50ish guy with a rather large gut....mouth open.... toungue hanging out.....hubby leans over to me and says, "This is wrong on so many levels". Ummmm yeah, you think?

Lurky, Lurky, Loo (Who Are YOU?)

A little curiosity never killed the cat, right? I just figured out (with help from hubby ) how to use my sitemeter to see how people find me. At first I thought, "Who cares? Either people read this crap or not. Why should I care who's out there and how they found me?" Now I might be hooked. Now I want to know who are these people and why they find this entertaining enough to come back for more. Soooooooooo, it's time to fill my comment box. Plus, if you uncover your identitiy, I promise (triple quadruple with all my fingers and toes crossed) to tell you what ultra cool thing happened yesterday during our visit to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Believe me, it's worth it (at least I think so) !!

My boy's a TEEN!!!

Thirteen years ago I was basking in the sunlight coming through the hospital room window. Right beside my bed was a bassinet with the cutest little newborn I had ever seen. Curls of bright orange colored hair atop his head....just like his daddy's. Even though I was 20 years old, I did not feel too young to be a new mom. I didn't know everything I needed to be prepared for parenting, but if I had been 25...30...35 years old I would have been just as naive.

I am feeling a little sad on this day. Not because my baby is turning 13, but because this is his first birthday that I will not see him or talk to him. I'm a big sap, I know. It's just a day right? I guess it's more than that to me. We'll be celebrating his birthday with him when he gets back from summer camp. I hope someone remembers to wish him a happy birthday today. We sent him a card which I'm sure he and his cabinmates will enjoy profusely. I should have taken a picture before we sent it, but this is what it said:

On the front is a picture of a squirrel holding 2 nuts up in the air.

On the inside: "This squirrel would give his left nut to make sure you have a happy birthday."


**teenage boy laughter ensues**

I Love You, Daddy (Bitch!)

The letter above was spontaneously given about 2 weeks ago. It was a pretty special moment for him. I suggested that he make a copy of it and keep it in his wallet for those times that he wants to flee and run far, far away. He thought that sounded like a good idea.

THEN, she got mad at him because her friend could not spend the night. This is what we found on his pillow that night.


Both of us cracked up at "THE SUN!" That is SO her. I figured this would be a sweet Father's Day entry.

Oh yeah, guess what one of hubby's gifts is this year? We're dropping the kids off at summer camp on Sunday and they will be gone ALL WEEK!!! Can you say dinner out every night? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland? Making as much noise as we wish every night of the week? Wherever we want(not on the kitchen table thank you very much)? This shall be a good week indeed.

Bozo, the Insult Clown

Conversation in the car this evening:

Jesse: That's not the right size nipple.

Friend: OK. I'll make it the way he likes it.

*squeak, squeak*

Jesse: NOW it's the right size.

Friend: I think he's happy now.

(configuring the end of a balloon into a nipple for their stuffed doggie....what were YOU thinking it was?)

Coversation with Bobby when we went to pick him up at a friend's house:

Bobby: Can I stay another night?

Roxanne: I don't care as long as they want to put up with you another night.

Bobby: *chuckle*

R: Do you have anymore clean clothes for tomorrow?

B: Yeah *awkward pause* Well actually I never changed clothes since yesterday so I still have clean clothes in my bag.

Conversation at the local library today:

Roxanne is standing outside the door of the kid's room as they're having a presentation. Jesse is inside with the rest of the kids. A few other parents are standing outside the door. Mr. Clown walks out of the room past the parents. I'm wearing my very fashionable capri pants. Mr. Clown looks down at my pants and says, "It looks like you used a little too much hot water in the wash." *rim shot* Then he notices a mom standing beside me wearing pants that were hanging down past her shoes and onto the floor (I would have never noticed if it wasn't for Mr. Clown). He makes some comment to her which I didn't quite catch. After he left I said, "Hey, it's the insult clown". It got a few laughs. The clown on the other hand got zero. Later, when he was making a balloon hat for Jesse, he used the same "joke" on me. Come on, it was bad enough the first time ,dude. Has anyone else been insulted by a clown? This was my first.

Roxanne=Meg Ryan

I had a dream that all my blog friends and I had a get-together. We were hanging out in this vacation rental house. One person(to remain unnamed...you can believe it's you if you'd like) randomly hugged me from behind. I liked it(in the dream, but I also like that kind of hug in real life). I liked it quite a bit. Enough to start........ And this is where I let your imagination take over. Yeah, it was that good!

Hubby had a bloggity blog dream last night, too. He said that he was reading one of his bloggy friend's blogs and she had decided to post some revealing pictures of herself.....something that she would never think of doing. Guess who his blog friend ended up being? Me! I told him that it sounded like a good start to another Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movie.

Woooo FREAKIN Hooooo!!!!! (my rendition of the drunken karoke singin' neighbors)

Please will someone help me figure out a way to politely tell the neighbors that their very loud karoke fest is keeping my daughter from sleeping. It is now 12:30 in the a.m. and she came out of her room to plead with me to go ask them to turn down their music. I'm guessing from the sound of it, that they are very drunk. There are many "Woooo!"s and "Yeah!"s interjected into the lyrics where I do believe they were not intended. They have been quite considerate of the neighbors in making sure that their sound system is working perfectly and turned up WAY past 10 on the dial.


How do you nicely (without starting a fist fight) ask drunken people to turn down their music (therefore disrupting their fun) ? Can you tell I'm a very non-confrontational person?

Rocky the Raccoon

Sorry to keep everyone in suspense. ;) So, for the big news that I promised.

Saturday afternoon I was outside with Jesse preparing to film her (I guess that would be old school since there is no "film" involved with digital recorders) playing with a hula hoop. The neighbor is driving out of her driveway, stops, and calls over to us, "Hey, Jesse! There's a baby raccoon over here!" Of course, she immediately ran down the hill to see. I followed (video camera still in hand) and captured a few moments on "film" before we got caught up in the moment. Our neighbor is an animal lover as is Jesse. So they were marveling at how cute, sweet, pitiful, and helpless this little creature was. I was too but not to the same extent. We were looking around in the bushes and tree trunks nearby to see if there were any signs of a parent. Noone around and this was in the middle of the day. Raccoons are nocturnal so we figured this little guy would not be out wandering around (not really wandering but rather wobbling as he seemed frail and bewildered) without his mommy during daytime. Our nature loving neighbor asked if we wanted to take him in since it seemed like he was left on his own (for whatever reason...mom died maybe?). Of course, Jesse looks up at me with those big, blue puppy dog eyes that are pleading, "Please, please, please. I'll do whatever you say. I'll clean my room. I'll scrub the floors. I'll serve you breakfast in bed for the rest of your life." I said, "I don't usually like to intervene with nature." You know, natural selection and all. But then again, this little guy was probably going to die if someone didn't "intervene with nature". So guess what? We now had a wild animal in our house. First dillema.....what do you feed a baby raccoon who seemed to be too young to be weaned from his momma? We googled and found an excellent website about orphaned coons. It had everything from a homemade formula recipe to when to wean them off the bottle to how to get them to fend for themselves and go back to the wild. So for the time being we decided this little guy needed some grub. I head to the store (at 10:00 at night) to buy raccoon formula ingredients. Never thought I would have to make a coon run (ice cream run, yes, coon, no). He was SO happy when he got the first taste of that concoction. It took us 2 1/2 days to find someone that takes in orphaned raccoons. So for those 2 1/2 days, Jesse got to play "mom" to this baby. She was in heaven. Not once did we have to suggest that she check to see if he needed to eat. As soon as he would start making noise in his cage, she was right there to offer him some food. Did you know that baby coons need their mom to "stimulate" them to have a bowel movement? We found this out from that great website. Jesse was not too thrilled about this part, but she stuck it out like a trooper. Basically you take a soft, wet cloth (we used paper towels) and rub their anus to get them to go poo.

This evening we drove "Rocky" to the orphan ladies home to give him a better chance at successfully being released back to the wild. Jesse was not happy about it, but she understood that he would be better off with someone who knows exactly what he needs. She explained that she doesn't release them when they are a certain age, but rather when their behaviors show her that they are ready. They have to successfully hunt for fish, frogs, and other various critters before she gives them the thumbs up. We asked if it would be possible if he could be released back onto our property when the time comes. She said she'd have to come check out the location and make sure it had enough of a natural setting to be suitable. It might be since we have a swamp and woods nearby. She's supposed to keep in contact to let us know how he's doing. So if we get any Rocky updates, I'll be sure to pass them on.


Here's the cute little bugger. He is only 5 weeks old.

My New Desktop Background

AKA: Someone thought she needed to sneak the camera for a self-portrait and this is what I found when I downloaded stuff off the camera
**on a special note I have some big news but it will have to wait**

He's smokin' hot!

Roxanne-You never got to know your other grandma because she died when dad was only 21 years old.

Jesse-Was he hot?

R-What do you mean? Was he good lookin'? Yeah, I thought so.

J-*Giggles* You know noone says that anymore. They say "hot" or "smokin'".

Say What?

Things overheard in my house:


"If you don't behave, there will be no dog treats." (Remember we no longer have a dog...just a child who insists on being a dog and her dad is willing to play along)
-----------------------------------

"Did you guys have sex to make me?"

"Uh....yeah"

"Eeeeuuwww!" (Bedroom door slams)
-----------------------------------------
"We promise not to burn the house down while you're gone."

"Uh.....thanks."
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(Someone farts loudly)

"Wowzer!"
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"Only 3 more weeks until I'm a man."

"Hold on there, kiddo. You're only turning 13."
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"So when do you think my voice will change?"

"Probably when you start to grow a goatee."
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It doesn't take much...

.......to entertain the man in my life. I like to use the term 'tit for tat' quite a bit. Partly because it is a great term, but also because hubby is always entertained when he hears the word 'tit' come out of my mouth, no matter the context. The other term he loves hearing is "nip in the air" or "it's a bit nippy". I don't mind giving him what he wants.