Time will tell

I am somewhat better. We have barely talked about it, but the tension has lifted. I think I was the cause of most of it. I told him that I don't want him to stop blogging and getting his feelings out. That is the reason I hate myself so much for reading it. I know how important it has been for him to have that form of therapy. He has built a small support system of people that know exactly what he goes through because they too have depression or are bipolar. I have not looked at his blog since his post directed towards me and I WILL NOT go back. Whether he changes the address or not. I will not go down that road anymore.

On a lighter note, we did not get much sleep last night. And it was not due to watching t.v. or reading in bed. It was yummy.

Trust

Trust is such a fragile thing. Break it and it is hard to repair. I hope I have enough super glue for this one. I am really stressed out right now. And I am staying up way too late thinking and stressing and obsessing. I wish he would have given me a hard time about it because I think it would have been easier that way. I suspect it has affected him more than he is letting on. We'll see.

Genius, I am not

I am so computer illiterate!

I just now figured out how people change the color of their text.

I really need to take a computer class so I can stop having to ask my computer genius hubby how to do things like send pictures in an email. Oh, is THAT what the attachment button is for? DUH!

He just recently got a new fangled personal organizer. One that you can surf the net with, amongst many other things. I have now adopted his old "freebie" organizer. I think it will work well for me as I might be overwhelmed with something more powerful.

Woo hoo! I can change the color of my text. Dweeb, total and complete dweeb.

Next on the list, how to get a picture from my camera to my blog. You just may see my ugly mug one of these days. Maybe.

Barbie.......what a hot chic

Here are some thoughts on my mind:

I have a pet peeve about those little smiley faces that are inserted into the sentence to express some sort of sentiment. I don't have anything personal against people that use them, I just am determined to not use them myself. A lot of the stuff I write, especially comments on other's blogs, is sarcastic. I often wonder if people will take it the wrong way, but I do not want to insert a computerized face(or whatever they're called) to express the mood. I feel like if I start, I won't be able to stop without it becoming invasive. I also think the lol, roflmao, lmwmitn(try to figure that one out!) are way over used. Sometimes I wish people would just write what they're trying to say. It's like reading the classifieds and not being able to decipher what in the heck the person is even advertising.

On to the next subject.

I do not cuss, curse, swear. Any of the above. Once, when I was a kid, I answered the phone and it was a crank caller. He said some dirty words to me and I hung up the phone. My face was flushed, my heart began to race. I didn't know what to do. My mom saw I was acting strange and asked who was on the phone. I said it was the wrong number. She knew there was something else to it. I said that the man said some bad words. She asked what. I would NOT tell her. She said I could write it down. I didn't even want to do that. I thought it was just as bad as saying them. She eventually pushed me hard enough to do it. I felt like a bad girl. I still feel the same today, at 33 years old. Side note: My parents occasionally cuss, not all the time. They never made a big deal about this issue. I don't know where this stems from. I know, I'm weird. I imagine one of these days I'll just let someone have it. Say every word in the freakin'(insert the correct Fword here) book. Exactly what "book" is it....the dictionary. There are some pretty good words in that book.

I was reminded of this from Aimee. When I was little(not anymore, thankfully) I used to make my barbies have sex. Then I would have the urge to go to the bathroom. Didn't do anything in there but go pee. I know, I'm weird. Anyone else have some good barbie stories? Oh yeah, I used to rub(get your mind out of the gutters) my brother's GI Joe's head(again, mind OUT of the gutter). He had that fuzzy, stubbly shaved head and I always liked the feel of it. I never did get him away from my brother long enough for him to have fun with Barbie. Ken, boy was he lucky. And skipper with her no boobs. Barbie must have been Bi. Never really thought of that before now. Again, I'm weird.

As Paul Harvey would say, "Good Day!"

Oops.....now what?

Well, my friends, I been found out. Hubby posted something on his blog. A little message for me because he suspects that I have found him again. I must first say that I am partly glad he knows. The other thing I must state again, is that I did not go looking for his blog address. I simply turned the computer on one day, and up popped his blog. That, of course, is no excuse for me continuing to go back and check up on it every day. That would be my obsessed, no will power self. I don't have that many bad habits, but that would be one of them. So now I need to decide how I want to let him know, that I know that he knows. I hate computers and technology in general. Our lives would be much simpler and less complicated without the bastards. Any advice anyone?

Thanks everyone

In response to the comments on my previous post.........

Pop rocks-(btw, I love pop rocks candy, is that where the name came from?)- I WILL take a couple dance lesson, even if I have to find someone else to take me. Anyone free? And go Steph! I hope she wins, she deserves it. I was happy when I saw them bring her back for another chance.

JaG- Sorry, I think I am going to try sushi....at some point. I always think I'm going to grab one at the chinese buffet, but never do.

jasmine- thanks for the advice. I don't really want to exploit him. I just thought people might be interested in getting the whole picture. And, yes, I don't think I should read his blog either. After he changed the address (my suggestion), I turn the computer on....and up pops his blog page. So of course my eyes fly straight up to the address, never to leave my brain again. And I tried stopping myself from checking it, but only lasted a few days before it was completely driving me crazy. I also would like to tell him that I have been reading it and to please change the address again.....I just am not ready to deal with that right now.

bill- yes, believe it or not, I have never been knock down drunk before. It's not like I'm a mormon or anything, just can't handle my liquor. And I think part of it is I choose not to. I like having control over my actions. I also have never done any drugs, including marijuana(except for secondhand smoke). If I ever ran for a political position, the media would have fun trying to dig up dirt on me. BORING! Maybe part of it is that I grew up in my parent's "mom and pop" grocery and the majority of the customers were druggies and alcoholics. We're talking nasty. Druggy sores up and down their body, can't stand still to save their life, stabbing family members left and right, living on welfare from generation to generation, their kid's coming in stinking so bad that we had to spray Lysol throughout the store. Now there's a deterent for you. But if I ever do decide to go for it, I will be contacting you for your hangover tips.

Thank you everyone.

On another note.....we have snow! The kid's played outside in it for over an hour after school. We are supposed to get snow for the next few days and hopefully get enough to pull the sleds out of the garage. Woo freaking hoo! I know, I know. In a few months I'll be complaining like the rest of the locals, but for now, let me enjoy it. I still have a village of snow people to create and some butt slammin', finger scrapin' sleddin' to get in. So back off all you locals who are ALREADY complaining about the white stuff. It makes everything look so pretty. I bet even the landfill looks pretty when it's snow covered. It might stink, but I bet it looks like a winter wonderland.

Tomorrow I will be making homemade chex mix(regular kind and orange/cranberry kind), the green pistachio, cool whip, marshmallow and nut salad that Bobby requested, and anything else I can prepare ahead of time. This year Thanksgiving will definitely be quite different for us. We are used to everyone meeting (usually at our house) which includes my parents, whatever foster kids they have at the time, my sister, my bro-in-law, their seven kids, hubby, me, Bobby, and Jesse. It is quite a crowd and it never fails that by mealtime at least one child is in timeout, screaming and crying during dinner(both kids and adults), fun and games to be had by hubby, myself, Bobby, and our oldest niece and nephew, my parents have to leave early because my dad has to work that night, bro-in-law gets annoyed at the rest of their kids and makes everyone leave even though we're in the middle of playing a board game. I just cured myself of being sad about being away from family. We are going to try to find some things to do over the weekend. There is supposed to be a parade on Saturday and it's probably going to be snowing. Yay, snow!

sidetrack--I have always spelled yay, as yeah. Except I will now try to change my ways. I'm so proud of myself. You really can teach an old dog new tricks.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thank God I'm not THAT old......yet

Yesterday I finally got myself to the quilting class I've been meaning to go to. I immediately felt right at home and knew I was in the right place when two minutes into the conversation, one of the women starts talking about ripping her clothes off. O.K., for those of you that need a shovel to scrape your mind out of the gutter.....she was referring to her hot flashes. And if you are still in the gutter.....the ones due to menopause. The conversation eventually made it's way to hysterectomies, of which I was the only one of the group that has not had one. I think if I go to the evening class, there may be some people closer to my age group. Not that it really matters to me, I loved hangin' with the oldies. We, of course, have the quilting in common. And the lady sitting next to me still has young kids. She said, "I have been parenting way too long. My oldest is 28 years old, and my youngest is 8. At least she will not have to worry about getting prego again.....she IS in the hysterectomy club after all.

I'm still working on my 100 things list. So be prepared, but don't be scared.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow..............

Well folks, we are expecting snow in the near future. Yippe-ki-ay! Although it's not going to be anything to play in, but it's a good start. I got to go shopping today for some pretty sexy lingerie. Now I need to remember how to transfer pics from the camera. It's been awhile....so sue me. I was actually turning myself on a bit while trying on some of the things in the store. And I did not have to pay the outrageous prices at Victoria's secret. You'll never guess where they have some really cute stuff(even some cool see through stuff)......Target! I even found some of them on clearance. I'm excited to get started creating my first portfolio. This is soooo out of my element. But I think hubby will appreciate it.....and it'll be fun to see the look of surprise on his face.

I found some really cute undies (some with actual lace on them) so I can start weeding out my "grannies". Let's just say when you are overweight and have stretch marks after having kids, you do not care about what kind of underwear you got on. Comfort comes first.

It's the end of the world!

Not really, just a cheesy made for t.v. movie that hubby insists wasting another 2 hours watching right now. Of course I am involving myself, but only halfway watching while surfing the net. Category 7, yeah right. The graphics are so bad. Last sunday they showed 2 park rangers standing at the top of Mount Rushmore and then the face of George Washington just sort of fell off breaking into little bits of rock. Then the sphinx fell and broke into pieces. Pretty bad.

I am making progress on getting myself back to work. I finished painting the basement floor this weekend and now will be able to start setting up all of my daycare things in the basement. Yeah!

We might be going on a little trip over Thanksgiving weekend. We will probably do a small and quiet(from what we're used to) dinner on thursday. Then we are thinking of driving to Cincinnati where hubby's mom's best friend lives. She is more like family, of which hubby has none. He was an only child adopted by his mom(she was never married), his grandpa died when he was six, and his adopted mom was an only child so he had no aunts, uncles or cousins. So his mom's best friend was/is more like an aunt to him. I was happy to hear that he wants to go see her as I think it will be a good thing to lift our spirits. Since I have been missing my family so much, it should be a really good thing.

Bill Nye the Science Guy

I am officially done scraping paint! This may sound like a non-significant accomplishment to some of you, but for me I have much reason to be jumping up and down screaming jubilantly. Yoo-freaking-Hoo! Today I was able to move onto the next step of the project......becoming a mad scientist. Muriatic acid is cool. I'm using it to "etch" the cement in the basement to prepare the surface for repainting. I read and followed all of the directions to a "T" and still I had to go outside to get some fresh air. After you open the bottle, it immediately has gas vapors (guess that's what you call them) emanating from the bottle. If you're not careful, the fumes will overtake you very quickly. Tomorrow........paint. Woohoo! Not only am I excited about getting to that step, but I love the smell of paint. I know I'm weird. I also like the smell of rubber cement. For you youngins out there, we used to use rubber cement in school instead of glue or paste. I would occasionally lift the lid of my desk, hide my head inside, and sneak a sniff or two of it. I wasn't addicted or anything, just liked to get a little whiff now and then. One day, recently, hubby and I were talking about rubber cement and he said he loved the smell too. I guess we really are made for each other, right?

Continuation of the muriatic acid: Hubby said one time when he was working at the local drug store.....someone had really high stacks of muriatic acid right next to chlorine in the storage room. Apparently there were containers of each that had leaked and combined.......toxic gas. His boss said, " Just hold your breath and go clean it up." Hubby says, "Have you never taken a chemistry class before? You better go call the fire department and get someone out here to clean up that crap." The boss found some idiot to hold his breath and clean it up. No one passed out amazingly.


Our puppy is growing quite a bit. He is now big enough that the kids took him outside to start training him on the leash. He is starting to sneak his way into my heart. He met the neighbor lady the other day. She is definitely a dog person, allowing him to kiss her all over, including the lips (and she was loving it). I'm sorry, I don't care how much I love a pet. They will not be licking my face with the same tongue that was just cleaning their butt or crotch. Just a thought.

Had a new breakthrough with Bobby today. After dinner he voluntarily got out a library book to read. Then he was looking for his wallet so he could buy(with his own money) the new Artemis Fowl book from the book fair at his school. Woo Hoo! Now.....to raise that F in science.

We will be going to visit my fam in May. My grandma wants to have a family reunion....which is quite an event. Her and my grandpa have 5 kids, they had a total of 15 kids, we, the grandkids, have had many, many kids, and now there are a few great, great grandkids in the bunch. It should be fun to see everyone. We are planning on visiting my parents, sister and her fam on the coast (yeah, the beach!) and then we'll drive over the much dreaded mountainous road (that always makes me sick unless I get drugged up on dramimine) to get to the reunion.

Blackout and report cards (not related)

A really weird thing happened today. Hubby decided to come home for lunch today. Not to eat, but to have some fun in the bedroom. That's not the weird part. We had been planning on having a "lunch" date for a while. Since I'm not working, the kid's are in school, and we have recently discovered each other again. So he gets this really weird look on his face and said he just about blacked out. Now I know I'm pretty good in the sack, but I never expected to be the cause of someone passing out.

When he got home from work this evening another of his famous migraines had taken hold of him. These are the type where he has to take really strong meds. and have lots of quiet and complete darkness. He basically is done for the day. So I was on my own tonight with the kids.

We went to Bobby's school to pick up his report card. His science teacher was the one handing them out. Perfect. I was able to talk to her about his not so pleasing grade in her class. She was very nice, upbeat, helpful about the situation. It is very disheartening for both hubby and I. His first "F". He basically avoided doing a few of the projects and assignments. So I guess now we have to crack the whip. We figured we would give him a chance to prove himself, now being a big seventh grader this year. I think he is doing quite well considering all of the major changes this past year. But "F"s are not acceptable. It means you are not even putting in the effort. The suprising part for us is that he loves science. That is the one class that he talks about at home. He just doesn't want to do the work or is just overwhelmed. He said "but I have 7 classes" and started to get watery eyes. "I need to go use the bathroom". I guess it would be quite embarrassing for a boy that age to be spotted getting emotional in public. Yeah, the beginning of puberty! Wish us well, we are gonna need it.

Updates

This past Saturday we took a drive to Millersburg (about a 45 minute drive). It is officially the largest amish village in the US. At least that's what they advertise on the billboards. We had planned on just driving around so we could spy on the amish and hope to find a pumpkin patch somewhere along the way. We were somewhat disappointed to find some of the amish have resorted to commercialism. There were a few shopping center type stores with homemade goodies (we bought some really yummy fudge) and wood furniture, etc. We only stopped at one that said it was a cheese factory where you could watch them making cheese. Unfortunately there was no cheese making to be viewed. The most ironic part was when we saw the amish girl working behind the counter using the credit card machine. After leaving that place, we drove on some of the back roads, slowly passing by some of the horse buggies. Jesse loved that, of course, with the horses and all. We also got to see some of the farmers using their farm equipment, powered by horses. That was cool. One more ironic part.....watching someone drive their bright yellow hummer behind an amish buggy. Two worlds colliding. Made me embarrassed to be part of that world. We did find some pumpkins, along the roadside, a menonnite family selling what they had left from their farm. Bought some smaller pumpkins and we're planning on grilling them on the bbq. Should be yummy!

Halloween night we ended up driving 20 minutes for the kids to go trick or treating. Apparently, they "schedule" trick or treat times here....we had no idea. Our neighborhood was Sat. 5-7 pm while we were in amish country. What ever happened to everyone trick or treating on Halloween night? Crazy Ohioans. I guess we better get used to it. Bobby said, "There's too many rules here." He's right. Too conservative. At least we can contribute to the blue on the map when it comes time to vote out Mr. Bushy. That will be nice. Living in CA it always felt like our vote didn't count. I know, they always tell you "Every Vote Counts" but sometimes it really doesn't. Especially when they start anouncing which candidate has "won" the election and you haven't even gone to the freaking polls yet.

Oh yeah, we took Skippy, our new puppy, with us on our trip to amish land. He loved it....so did the kids. He is already growing so much and we've only had him for 3 weeks.